So, reading Drena's post from yesterday made me start to think about some things I try to stay neutral on and others I have very strong feelings on. For example I really try not to form opinions based on people's decisions how to raise their child - i.e. bedtimes, how many, breastfeeding, etc. I think I do a really good job on this (unless they complain a lot about an odd choice they make and then it drives me crazy, but I still bite my tongue).
The one thing that I cannot help but get really irritated by? When dads do not help with their kids. AT ALL. There is a girl in the neighborhood who has a husband who does nothing. NOTHING. He tries to play Mr. Cool, my wife does everything that is not a man's job. I cannot help but think he is just a jerk. Everyone discusses it (when she is not around). It is not that he is not capable, but he just does not help at all. She is due in a few months with their second and their son just turned two. The father has never given him a bath. Never has gotten up in the middle of the night. When we were at a cookout a few weeks ago and the guys were outside with kids (usually two to every dad, him with just his son) he had to come get his wife and have her help (pregnant and all). Every time we talk about one of the guys doing something nice (i.e. making a birthday cake) she is in shock because her husband would never do that.
On one side I feel bad for her, but at the same time she must be okay with it. This is where I am getting really bad, recently it has started to make me question her. How can she be okay with her husband not doing ANYTHING ever where THEIR children are concerned???? I do not get it. They are his kids too and this is the women he loves and wants to care for, right? How can he not do anything to help???????
3 comments:
I know some men don't do anything b/c they can't please their wife. This doesn't sound like the case. She needs to give him a dose of reality and he might change his ways!!
uh, I never thought about that..but I have seen clients where no matter what the dad does with the baby the mom gives "that" look and they usually stop. Most of the time it is nothing that would injure or anger the baby so it is always a little awkward for me.....I bet that they do tend to do less when they can't please. You are right though, this doesn't sound like the case here because he sounds like he is proud of the fact that he does nothing.
No, this guy really does nothing. He searches his wife out to handle things and no bath ever - in two years. The bath part is what really makes me think has never tried. This girl is not a perfectionist or anything just very agreeable to whatever her husband wants. I would have had no idea about the lack of what he does, but she is always surprised when we are talking about "letting" husbands do different things - i.e he can give them a bath tonight, he can give them breakfast in the morning - because her husband would never do that.
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